“It’s hard to type this out to complete strangers. My relationship history is not how I ever imagined my life. But like the woman at the well, I see Christ’s pursuit of me in this, the most vulnerable part of my life story.”

I wrote that after answering a question about marriage(s) and divorce(s) on a grad school application. They wanted dates and explanations. How do I explain so many pains and regrets inside such a small text box? I gave them dates, referred them to my church leaders who walked with me through things, and then wrote the above quote.

“Like the woman at the well…” This is not the comparison I would ever pick for myself. If you’ve read the story (John 4:1-45), you understand why. She had multiple marriages and divorces. I know from experience this causes deep heartache and shame. Even though I have several healthy friendships, a long term commitment to my church, and the sweetest bond with my children, romantic love has only ever been devastating for me.

I wonder if, like me, she was harder on herself than anyone else could be about it. Did she question her choices and her worth when she saw other women being cherished by godly leaders? Did she, like me, seek counseling to understand WHY?!! she overlooked things that shouldn’t be overlooked when dating? (more to come on this topic!)

All we know is that instead of going with a group in the cool of the morning, this woman went alone in the dreaded heat of the day. (v.6) She didn’t want to be seen. But, God saw her!!!

“Christ’s pursuit…” This is what it’s all about.

• He sat and waited for her at the well.
• He initiated conversation (v. 8) , which in those days men were encouraged not to speak to women. Even his disciples were surprised he was talking to a woman. (v. 27)
• He knew she longed for things that couldn’t satisfy. He offered her eternal love and satisfaction in Him, the Living Water. (v. 14)
• He acknowledged her deepest shame, then took her to a place of honor…
• He spoke theology with her. (vs 20-24)
• He picked HER, a Samaritan (the Samaritans were hated and looked down on by the Jews), a woman (women had very little value in these cultures), and an outcast. This is who Jesus picked to reveal himself as the Messiah for the first time explicitly. (v.26) What an absolute gift!
• Then he used her testimony to witness to others in her village. Many came to faith because of it. (v. 39) By the way, at this time women weren’t allowed to testify in court because they were considered unreliable. It makes this story even more incredible.

God is in the business of turning our shame into honor, our sorrow into joy, and the ugly parts of our story into something absolutely beautiful.

Whatever your shame struggle, whatever your heartache, look for Christ’s pursuit of your heart there. Come sit by me at the well. It’s not the end of the story.